That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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