so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
