They should really pass out barf bags in church
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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