I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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