people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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