Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
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