Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize