Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
barbara walters just said penis...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
