You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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