There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
