yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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