It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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