The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
