i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
