Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
