Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
