I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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