I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
