She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
