K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
