Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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