Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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