1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
