I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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