i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
id be glad to
I look better un-naked...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
