Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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