Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
