Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
