i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
