Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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