Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
