i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
