No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
