Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
then he tried to convert me to islam
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
