Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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