i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize