But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
