We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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