I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize