It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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