He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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