theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
