You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
