your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
