? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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