i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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