I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
