ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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