We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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