We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Jerry, you need to find god
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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