what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
