I cockslap morals
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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