that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
