i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
