Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
