You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
