I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
