Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
