Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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