When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
