i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
