You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
