if you like me you must not know who I am
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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