The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
