would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
