There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This toilet bowl is my home.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
