So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize